David Stuart

Great.

So now, you've:

• Identified a goal to work towards
• You've made sure it's a realistic, achievable goal; nothing too "big".
• You've told us that you feel pretty confident to achieve this goal (It's not a "promise", just a goal to work toward).
• You've told us how important this is to you.
• Then you identified the times of the week you're most vulnerable to using chems. That's really helpful to know. Now you can be better prepared for those moments. Put things in your diary, keep yourself busy. Don't get caught idle and bored. Get a good friend to support you if you can, it's always better than doing it alone.
• You tick-boxed some things you can do differently when cravings hit. It's important to realise you're not victim to those cravings; there are things you can actually do, to make them go away. Practice those. Get good at those. You'll be needing them a lot, moving forward.

That's it. You have your own Care Plan.

If you can, let a good friend know that you're trying to make changes. Doing this alone is never as good as having the support of a best mate. It can be difficult to share this vulnerability with someone, but do not be ashamed. It's a brave, brilliant thing you're doing here, you should feel proud of trying.

Whether you succeed at your goal, or not, you now have a toolbox of things you can do to help yourself. Sometimes it's trial and error; we don't always succeed the first time. Don't give up. Keep coming back. Choose an achievable goal, work towards it. Get better at identifying your vulnerable moments, and practice your craving management techniques. You'll get the hang of it. You'll get better each time.

And when you succeed... congratulate yourself. That's important. When you don't succeed... congratulate yourself for trying. Don't beat yourself up. There is an explainable reason why you struggle with this. Gay life, gay sex is complicated, you aren't alone. So no beating yourself up, just start a new care plan. With a smile, and faith in yourself.