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David Stuart

Home
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About me
Chemsex

Home
Film
Books
About me
Chemsex

No one should ever tell you you have a problem.

No one else decides that for you.

Only you can decide if it's "a problem".

All sex has joys and consequences. Pros and cons.

Chems too, have pros and cons.

We can reduce the consequences of our chem use, by practicing harm reduction techniques (see here). It's not perfect -we can't remove all the harms or consequences- but we can minimise them.

Then it's just a matter of deciding if the fun we're having is worth the consequences. Not just to ourselves, but to those around us and our community.

Below are some questions designed to help us reflect on our own choices

By answering the questions below, you (and nobody else but you).... can get an idea of whether or not you're happy with your choices; whether the joys and benefits outweigh the consequences of your chem play.

(None are compulsory; ignore questions that don't apply or you don't like).

What do I enjoy about ChemSex

What do I dislike about ChemSex?

Do I sometimes miss days at work/college because of chems?

YesNoMaybe

Am I experiencing more unwanted STIs than I'd prefer, because of chems?

YesNoMaybe

I may be passing on infections to other people when I'm on chems

I might, but I try not toNeverI'm not responsible for other people's sexual healthWe do our best to look out for ourselves & each other, but it's complicatedI could do better

Have I ever overdosed on GHB/GBL?

-Yes (only in front of friends/partners/shags)-Yes (hospitalised)-Yes (no one saw me)-Never-I don't do GHB/GBL

I sometimes feel paranoid or unsafe when I take chems

Yes, but it's not a problemYes, but only rarelyYes, frequentlyEvery timeNeverYes, but it was real danger/persecution, not a side-effect of the drugs

I can handle my drugs, but others that I play with, can't.

True, but it doesn't bother meTrue, I'm uncomfortable being complicit in other people's problematic chem useUntrue; everyone I play with is fine on their chems.I can't always handle my drugs eitherEveryone is responsible for themselvesWe all have moments, but we look after each otherThis doesn't apply to me

What percentage of my sex life, involves chems?

0% chems10% chems20% chems30% chems40% chems50% chems60% chems70% chems80% chems90% chems100% chems

When did you last have a relationship?

In the last 12 monthsAbout a year agoAbout two years agoMore than three years agoMore than 6 years agoMore than a decade agoI've never had a relationshipRelationships aren't important to me

Is Chemsex affecting my physique/appearence, and the way I look?

YesNoMaybe

Is ChemSex affecting my finances?

YesNoMaybe

When did you last have sober sex?

This weekThis monthWithin the last 6 monthsWithin the last yearMore than a year or two agoI can't rememberSober sex is not important to me

Is Chemsex affecting my goals and the dreams I have for my life?

YesNoMaybe

What would be my reasons for taking a break from chems?

What would be the things preventing me from taking a break from chems?

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Those questions were just for you. They weren't designed to trick you or coerce you. Just to help you reflect on what you want your sex (and romantic) life to be like. Sometimes fear of change can keep us lost in a cycle that we're not always happy in. And sometimes we've never even thought about what we want our sex (and romantic) lives to be like. Let alone pro-actively tried to make that happen. Sometimes we're just acting on sexual impulses, or living the sex lives our gay scenes have designed for us, rather than forging our own path. Sometimes our own emotional needs are so loud, we can be naive of the harm we do to ourselves in the process - and the harm we might be doing to others or to our community by default. Sometimes we've been so dissatisfied with sober sex, we think chems are the only way to satisfy our needs. And sometimes we don't always treat ourselves as we are worth. But not always of course. Sometimes it's just fun, without harm. I hope the questions helped. If you've decided you don't need to make any changes... great. I hope you don't feel the questions were a waste of time.