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        David Stuart

No one should ever tell you you have a problem.

No one else decides that for you.

Only you can decide if it's "a problem".

All sex has joys and consequences. Pros and cons.

Chems too, have pros and cons.

We can reduce the consequences of our chem use, by practicing harm reduction techniques (see here). It's not perfect -we can't remove all the harms or consequences- but we can minimise them.

Then it's just a matter of deciding if the fun we're having is worth the consequences. Not just to ourselves, but to those around us and our community.

Below are some questions designed to help us reflect on our own choices

By answering the questions below, you (and nobody else but you).... can get an idea of whether or not you're happy with your choices; whether the joys and benefits outweigh the consequences of your chem play.

(None are compulsory; ignore questions that don't apply or you don't like).

Do I sometimes miss days at work/college because of chems?
Am I experiencing more unwanted STIs than I'd prefer, because of chems?
I may be passing on infections to other people when I'm on chems
Have I ever overdosed on GHB/GBL?
I sometimes feel paranoid or unsafe when I take chems
I can handle my drugs, but others that I play with, can't.
What percentage of my sex life, involves chems?
When did you last have a relationship?
Is Chemsex affecting my physique/appearence, and the way I look?
Is ChemSex affecting my finances?
When did you last have sober sex?
Is Chemsex affecting my goals and the dreams I have for my life?
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Those questions were just for you. They weren't designed to trick you or coerce you. Just to help you reflect on what you want your sex (and romantic) life to be like. Sometimes fear of change can keep us lost in a cycle that we're not always happy in. And sometimes we've never even thought about what we want our sex (and romantic) lives to be like. Let alone pro-actively tried to make that happen. Sometimes we're just acting on sexual impulses, or living the sex lives our gay scenes have designed for us, rather than forging our own path. Sometimes our own emotional needs are so loud, we can be naive of the harm we do to ourselves in the process - and the harm we might be doing to others or to our community by default. Sometimes we've been so dissatisfied with sober sex, we think chems are the only way to satisfy our needs. And sometimes we don't always treat ourselves as we are worth. But not always of course. Sometimes it's just fun, without harm. I hope the questions helped. If you've decided you don't need to make any changes... great. I hope you don't feel the questions were a waste of time.